"Possibilities"

"Lots of people limit their possibilities by giving up easily. Never tell yourself  'this is too much for me. It's no use, I can't go on.' If you do you're licked, and by your own thinking too. Keep believing, and keep on keeping on."    Norman Vincent Peale



I've never heard these exact words before, but I've lived them! And for whatever reason, I think many of you have, too. We give up on ourselves, we give into doubt, we stop trying, we retreat in fear, we forget to chase our dreams. Why?

I don't know for sure, but I have a theory. We are emotional beings, and for that I am thankful. The feelings of love, joy, and peace are heaven sent, and I welcome the sense of warmth, happiness and safety that envelops me when these emotions take hold. They lift me up, and make me feel like I can accomplish anything. But then there are times when we experience doubt, uncertainty, and fear... emotions that can cloud our thinking, pick away at our self esteem, take away our confidence, and bring us to our knees. This is when we 'give up' too easily. Maybe we're too tired. Maybe we're stressed. Maybe we're alone. Our mind plays tricks on us, and we believe we hear a message to 'stop, give up, give in'.

Been there, done that... but refuse to wear the t-shirt!
When I've been at the lowest of lows, (and believe me, there've been a few) I have felt like giving up, giving in. It seemed easier to do. No more struggling, no more pain, no more fear. But here I am. I got through all that, and I know why. I have two things on my side that brought me back from those dark moments... okay, maybe three. I have a guardian angel, as I believe we all do. My angel knows that I still belong here on earth, with many good things yet to accomplish and experience. (I know I am blessed)  I have a family that loves me beyond measure. A love strong enough to rescue a tired body and bring it back to safety. (I am doubly blessed!)  And finally, I'm just plain stubborn. When push comes to shove, I guess I'm a pusher. It may have gotten me into trouble a time or two when I was a young tot (!), but it has also gotten me through tough times in recent years. Yes, I'm a pusher, pushing doubt and fear into the background where they belong, and letting life take center stage.

Now, I'm all about possibilities. The possibilities that each day holds. It could be something small like a smile from your child, a call from a friend, finding a quarter on the sidewalk, a thanks from a co-worker, or discovering a delicious new recipe. It could be something huge like making a new friend, going back to school, starting a new job, or moving to a new city.
As we arise each morning, the opportunities for possibilities are endless. We must believe that each day holds the potential for greatness, big or small. As my sister said to me today, "Let's walk with an open spirit and let possibilities enter our lives."
Sign me up!

2010 is drawing to a close and will soon be the year that was. A new year is on the cusp, a year with 365 days of possibilities. I plan on making 2011 a good year. In fact, I plan on making it a stellar year!  If we believe, and keep on keeping on, it can happen.

"HaPpY  NeW  YeAr  EvErYoNe !"

Keep on keeping on... bArB :) -now I know where this comes from... thank-you Mr. Peale!

"Actions Speak Louder than Words"

The other day, my daughter and I did something we've been doing for years as a family. We took a large donation of clothing to an inner city church, who's mission is to provide for the homeless and less fortunate among us. I never have to 'make' my children come with me for this errand. They both have good hearts. They are not afraid, or turned off, by the homeless. They are saddened, and wish for a solution.

When we arrived at the church, Heidi in tow, there were three women huddled together out front, shuffling their feet in an effort to stay warm. It was a bitterly cold day. Before I even had the vehicle turned off, my daughter was out the door, round to the back, and lifting out our bags of clothing. Then, bringing a smile to my face, she didn't rush off to the donation door... she went right up to the ladies and started chatting.
That's my girl!
Heidi and I joined in, and fifteen minutes passed in that cold wind. Only when Heidi started doing the "my paws are freezing dance', did we break up and go about our mission of delivering the clothes. When we got back into our warm, comfortable vehicle... I saw a look in my daughter's eyes, and without words, she was telling me she knows how fortunate she is. Priceless.

We have a favorite pizza place in the city, located on a very busy street, frequented by people from all walks of life. It is also a  popular site for panhandling. Many view this as a nuisance, and I get it. But I see it as a lost soul's act of total desperation, begging for help to survive the next day, the next hour, or even the next minute. I don't judge or shake my head. I don't blame them for how they got 'here'. I am just saddened.
So, whenever we stroll this avenue and stop at our pizza place, we buy a few extra slices and quietly pass them out. The smiles and 'thanks' are genuine, the last little bit of pride evident as they wait to eat until we are almost out of sight. My children know they've done something good that requires no praise in return.

As a parent, you try to instill so many things in your children's hearts and minds, as you raise them to become loving and responsible individuals. A few years ago, my son unknowingly showed me that whatever my husband and I were doing, was working. It was another very cold winter night, around -35 degrees, and I was at a rink watching him play hockey. In between one of the periods, I, along with most of the other parents, visited the canteen to get a warm drink. A rattling noise caught my attention, and I turned to see a homeless gentleman giving a shake to one of the vending machines, muttering under his breath. A rink attendant approached him, they spoke briefly, and then ... nothing. The gentleman had lost his change in the machine, the attendant was unable to retrieve it. In his layers and layers of threadbare clothes, the gentleman went and stood by the door, where I noticed his bike for the first time. It was adorned with a small backpack and an odd assortment of knick-knacks. He just stood there, staring out into the freezing night. Garnering only glances of disgust from the other parents, I was spellbound. So over I went, with a few looks of utter disbelief from the parental crowd, introduced myself, and offered to buy this man a hot drink and something to eat. It turned out to be one of the most moving things I ever did. He graciously accepted a cup of tea and a hotdog. While I stood in line to order, he made a trip back to his backpack. He picked the farthest away table so as not to 'disturb' the others, he told me when I sat down next to him. Before I could even put his drink in front of him, he offered up a tattered, well worn, soft covered book, swollen twice it's size from dampness, and said, "I can't repay you, so I'd be honored if you took my book." It was a copy of War and Peace, and he had carried it with him for years. With tears welling in my eyes, I said I couldn't possibly take something so treasured, that just his generous thought was more than enough thanks. We chatted for a few minutes, he finished his wee meal, and our encounter drew to a close. He asked me which number my son was, saying he would watch through the glass and cheer for his team. I had just been blessed with twenty minutes of a most amazing experience.

When the game was over, and I headed out into the 'abyss of frigid night' to start our vehicle, I did not see my gentleman, but his bike was still propped up against the wall.
As I sat in the truck, waiting to see my son standing in the door, I bowed my head and said a silent prayer for 'Mr. War and Peace". When I looked up again, I saw my boy standing just inside the entrance to the arena. He was talking to someone. I thought probably a team mate or his coach. I drove around to pick him up. After unloading his gear in the back, he hopped in front with me and said, "I just had the coolest conversation with an old dude. Really neat. He said to 'say hello, and thanks again' to my Mom. What's up with that?" Out of all the players leaving the rink that night, my son took the time to stop and talk with the homeless gentleman. And my gentleman quickly figured out which tree this apple had fallen from. The cold night no longer bothered me, for my heart was warmed by my son's selfless act of kindness.

Actions do speak louder than words. We can not just 'say', we must also 'do'.
My husband and I have probably made tons of mistakes as parents. But we keep on, and when we least expect it, our children show us, by their actions, that the good is getting through, and the not-so-good is forgiven. They have shown us time and again what good people they are, and that the little things we do make a hugh difference for someone in need.

A long entry today, but such an important one. I can't imagine being homeless. The fear and loneliness. The hunger and pain. The sadness and sorrow. It is a problem much bigger than one person can handle. But one person can make a difference. A kind word, a cup of coffee, a donation of warm clothing, a cheque to a food bank, giving blankets to a shelter, or volunteering at a soup kitchen. Simple. Joyful. Wonderful.

Thank you to my children, for inspiring my story telling today.
Thank you to the three ladies, and Leo Tolstoy's devoted fan (my dear homeless friend), for inspiring my children.
If you are moved by my stories, please keep them in your heart, and let them move you to action.




Keep on keeping on... bArB :)

" Give me an F-A-M-I-L-Y ! Yeahhhh Family ! "

Family- a social unit consisting of parents and children, whether or not dwelling together in the same home.


When you look up 'family' in the dictionary, you can find any number of definitions. Some are way outdated (I found one that mentioned servants!), some are too wordy, others are very basic.
In the end, a definition is just words. I like to view the word family  'a la Grinch-style' ... "maybe family, I think, means a little bit more. Maybe family, I know, means a whole bunch more!"

And 'why' you might ask, would I consider myself versed enough to pontificate upon such a pillar in the world of words? Well, I have 49 years experience of being an active member of my family, 23 years experience being married into my hubby's family, 22 years hands on experience raising my own family, several years experience of being an 'honorary member' of other families, and finally, I have a special group of friends who have become 'family'.  So, with this kaleidiscope of 'family experience' to my credit, I will take literary license and muse upon this extraordinary word.

When you hear the word 'family', many images may spring forth in your mind. The stars, and the moons, and all the signs of the zodiac, must have been in alignment the night I was born, for I was given to a loving, caring family, and I have nothing but wonderful images whenever I think of them. From my earliest memories as a little girl, to when I was out on my own and going home to see family was a 'special event', to those fun and exciting days of being a young mom, to my most recent "surprise' visit home, when I think of family my heart smiles, and a warmth washes over me, as I picture the faces and hear the voices of those I love.

Now, before you think "Gee, this nut sounds like she and her family are right out of a Fairy Tale"... we weren't the 'perfect' family. No family ever is. We all come with 'warts and boils', we all have bad things happen to us, we all have disagreements, we all make mistakes. We are all human. But this is where one of the 'not found in the dictionary' meanings of the word 'family' comes in to play. Family accepts you, warts and all! They come to your side when bad things happen. They will forgive after an arguement. They will admit their mistakes and try to learn from them. (But I'll never admit that it was a mistake to wear my fuzzy pink socks, with my red velvet Christmas dress, standing in the front row, at my grade one school concert!)  It's that 'love and caring' thing. It binds us together through good times and bad, through thick and thin.  It's the 'emotion' of family that no book can define. When you live it, you know it.

Families today are so much more than the tradtional meaning of the word that often comes to mind. (Remember, a definition is just words!) There are adoptive families, divorced families, blended families, single parent families, granparents as parents families, same gender families, and separated by conflict families. All families need to be celebrated. It should never matter if one is different than another. For in reality, and it's really very simple, we are all the same. For family is love. Family is loyalty, tolerance, patience, forgiveness and respect. Family is a place. A place where you feel safe. Where you can grow and flourish, where you can start to spread your wings. It's a place you can leave, and be welcomed with open arms when you return. Family is home. Where you're rooted, and from where you blossom forth. The best gift we have been given, and that which we can give, is 'family'.


My children have been blessed to grow up in a home with both parents, to know the joy of having Grandparents, to have treasured times with Aunts and Uncles, to have cousins to keep in touch with. (They also have honorary grandma's and grampa's, aunts and uncles... all holding a special place in their hearts, too). Their lives have been enriched, and their souls have been nourished, by each and every one. As they reach young adulthood, my wish for them is that they venture into the world with a strong sense of family, knowing they are loved by many, cheering them on as they follow their hopes and dreams, and that they bring love, loyalty, tolerance, and respect, into all of their relationships, new and old. 

I am sitting here, pretty choked up as I write these words for you. My family is everything to me, and I am missing the ones back home... particularily at this most special time of the year. But my hubby and kidlets, good family friends, and next door neighbours, will help me celebrate this holiday season, and I am so thankful for them.

As I close for today, I propose this toast. (So grab a glass of eggnog, raise your hand, and say with me) ... "To family and friends, and friends who are family!"

Wishing you all peace and joy this Christmas, and the blessing of health and happiness this coming New Year.

                           " Merry Christmas Everyone! "


Keep on keeping on... bArB :)

"Live Love Laugh"

            

Live well.
Love much.
Laugh often.
Six little words that pack a big punch! But what do they really mean?

Here's my take on these wonderful and insightful words...

Live well.
For most of my life, it has been an uphill battle to live in a state of 'wellness'. Unfortunately, chronic and critical illnesses have been my 'companions' for years, taking me on the roller coaster of crisis too many times. The personal and family toll has been huge. At times, it has been a struggle just to live. There have even been times when I've been afraid to 'face another day'. Then I remember those I love, and who love me back, and my mind says 'live'.  So I've decided I'm not just going to live, I'm going to 'live well'.  I will greet each day with a smile, for each day is a gift.  I will look for the positive and say 'no thanks' to the negative. I will grab at opportunity whenever it presents itself, and make the most of the experience. I will no longer be afraid of the 'what ifs', instead embracing the 'whatevers'. I will live for the moment, and make that moment count. I will say my prayers and count my blessings. I will 'live well'.


Love much.
We are human beings, with a beating heart, and we were made to love.
Love the Lord, who gave us life... do it quietly, or shout it from the mountain tops.
Love your self. Be good and kind to 'you', so you can flourish, and accomplish all that life has planned for you.
Love your family. They are an extension of you, and share in your hopes and dreams.They love you unconditionally. They are your personal cheerleaders in life.
Love your friends. The special people who are there whenever you need them, to share a laugh with, who offer a shoulder to lean on,  tell you the truth when you need to hear it, or don't when you don't. 
Love what you do. Whether working or playing, put passion into whatever you do, and you will find joy and satisfaction in return.
Love your community. This is where you live, where you work, where you raise your family, where you gather with friends. Treat it with kindness and respect.  Smile at your neighbours, drive courteously when out and about, thank a sales clerk for their service, support local charities. You get what you give.
Love the world. There are so many problems in our world today. War, famine, violence, disasters, greed and hatred. So many things not to love. But if we could all live each day with love, understanding, and tolerance in our hearts, what a better world it would be. It seems like a daunting task, but one very worthy of taking on.


Laugh often.
Where would I be without laughter? In a very sad place, to be sure.
As the famous saying goes... 'it is the best medicine!"
We laugh a lot in my family. It's one of the things I love the most about us!
Somehow, laughter just ensues whenever we are together. From the sublime, to the outright ridiculous. At times when laughter seems fitting, and at times when it doesn't. (Those times are the best and the worst all in one. We know we shouldn't be laughing, and that makes us laugh harder. Oy! But none of us have ulcers!) It doesn't matter if it's over a good joke, a hilarious story, a particularily funny situation, or just life in general. Laugh loud and laugh hard. It does a body good!

So there you have it.
My musings on six little words.
As this year comes to an end, and a new one is about to begin, I say to you:
Live well. Love much. Laugh often.



Keep on keeping on... bArB :)

"Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day"

  "Welcome Christmas Day" (By Dr. Seuss)



The Who's of Whoville (Big and small)

 Fah who for-aze
 Fah who dor-aze
 Welcome Christmas
 Bring your light

Welcome Christmas
Fah who rah-moose
Welcome Christmas
Dah who dah-moose
Welcome Christmas
While we stand
Heart to heart
And hand in hand.

"How the Grinch Stole Christmas",  my all time favorite Christmas special.
For as long as I can remember, I have watched the Grinch, and Cindy-Lou Who (who is no more than two!), and all the Who's of Whoville, as they celebrate Christmas... and my heart grows "3 sizes" every time!

From the imaginative imagination of Dr. Seuss, comes a story worthy of telling each holiday season for it brings a wonderful message... "Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."

Christmas does mean  'a little bit more'.
I've been thinking of all the things that Christmas means to me, and I've come up with a recipe that simply shows what I feel Christmas to be. (You all know how I love to cook!)  Feel free to add your own 'special ingredients', when making up a 'batch' for you and yours! Here it is...

"Just A Cup Of ": (from BaRb's kitchen)

INGREDIENTS:
 1 C peace 
 1 C love
 1 C joy
 1 C hope
 1 C faith
 1 C family
 1 C memories 
 1 C friends and neighbours

DIRECTIONS:
 Gather all ingredients together.
 Blend.
 Hold in your heart throughout the Christmas season.
 Makes enough to share with everyone.

(P.S. Can be made throughout the year, for the spirit of Christmas should forever glow within our hearts.)

        ************************************************************************

Wishing you joy this Christmas season.
May your time with family, and friends, be merry and memorable.
Keep love and hope in your heart.
Share the gift of peace with those around you.

Love... Barb


Keep on keeping on... bArB :)

"I Love a Good Spoonerism!"

Spoonerism- an unintentional interchange of sounds (usually beginning consonant sounds), in two or more words. Example...
"I'd like the fickin chingers, please."


Ahhhh, there's nothing quite like a hilarious, unexpected spoonerism, to make you laugh until you cry!
I come from a long line of  'spoonerspeakers'. My grandmother Stears was infamous for her consonant 'faux pas', to this day bringing tears of laughter in the retelling of her most hilarious mix-ups! My Mom inherited the 'spoonergene' and in turn has passed it on to her girls (that would be me, and my sisters!). Fits of uncontrolled laughter are a usual occurence when we all get together, but when the spoonerisms join our conversations... well, it's all out comedic chaos, to be sure! No one is safe from the belly aches brought on by 'gits of figgles'!  


For pure enjoyment, I'd like to share one of my favorite 'spooner stories'....

                                                  " The Tale of Rindercella"

    Once upon a time, in a coreign fountry, lived a beautiful young girl named 'Rindercella'.
    Rindercella lived with her mugly other, and her two sad bisters.
    Also in this coreign fountry, lived a pransome hince. He lived in a cig bastle with his mom and dad, the Quing and Keen. They were going to throw a bancy fall so their son, the pransome hince. could meet the gairest firl in all the land. Then there would be a wancy fedding. And maybe even brand gabies!
    On the day of the bancy fall, all the gair firls were busy getting ready for the nig bight.
But not Rindercella. She had no dretty press to wear, and no corse and harriage to get to the cig bastle. Her mugly other and two sad bisters went to the bancy fall, but Rindercella stayed home, meeping and swopping the floors. She was so sery vad.
    When her fears started salling, Rindercella was surprised by a magical poof'...
And there, in front of her very eyes, stood her gairy fodmother !
   "Now, now my dear," said her gairy fodmother, "you must crop this stying!" And with a wave of her wagic mand, the gairy fodmother made all of Rindercella's dreams come true.
    Rindercella found herself in the most beautiful gallbown, and wearing the shiniest slass glippers. Then, she was being whisked to the bancy fall in a cumpkin poach being pulled by hix shite worses. Her gairy fodmother waived goodbye, wished her luck, and reminded her to be home by the stroke of nidmight.
    Hushed oohs, and ahhs, greeted Rindercella as she made her entrance at the bancy fall.
    The pransome hince was bellspound by her barkling speauty. From that moment on, he danced only with Rindercella. It was a night of mure pagic... until the clock struck nidmight! 
   "Oh no," cried Rindercella, as she ran out of the cig bastle, "I must leave at once." In her haste, Rindercella lost one of her slass glippers on the castle steps.
    For days, the pransome hince roamed the coreign fountry, searching for the dirl of his greams. He would know it was she, by the fit of the dropped slass glipper. The pransome hince finally arrived at the home of the mugly other. When told of the wince's prishes, the mugly other excitingly called to the two sad bisters.  All three sat upon a chair, and bared their feet, to try on the slass glipper. First, the mugly other... it fidn't dit. Then a sad bister... but it fidn't dit. And then the other sad bister... and still, it fidn't dit! The pransome hince was grieved, as this was the last home in the royal kingdom, where the gairest firl in all the land might be found.
   Just then, with a shy glance of hesitation, Rindercella entered the room, sat upon a chair, bared her tiny foot, tried on the slass glipper... and... it fid dit!!! The pransome hince swept Rindercella off her feet, and took her home with him to the cancy fastle. There was a big wancy fedding (without the mugly other and two sad bisters), and Rindercella and her pramsome hince lived happily everafter.

Moral of the story? If you live in a coreign fountry and want to marry a pransome hince, get thee to a bancy fall ... and don't forget to slop your dripper!

   
   

    Keep on keeping on... bArB :)