" Planetary Differences""

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus... the title of a hugely popular book back in the early 90's. I never read it, but it created a lot of buzz, and inspired a whole new batch of men vs. women jokes and one-liners.

Besides the obvious physical comparisons, we are different in many other ways.
For the pure reason of enjoyment, I have chosen not to go into the psycho-babble discussions of the noncorrelations between homo-maleions and homo-femaleias, that exist adnauseum . Thanks to the marvelous thing called 'Google', and a little humorous research, I'm going straight to the funny and ponderous!



4 words/phrases every man should be aware of when in 'heated discussion' with his woman:
1. "Nothing"- this means "something", and until you figure it out, be on your toes!
2. "Go ahead"- you have been issued a dare... don't do it!!
3. "No problem, I've got it"- Big problem! After failing to complete whatever it is you have been asked to do, probably several times, she has done the task herself. This will later lead to the cold shoulder, and you, having completely forgotten the previous incident, will ask "Honey, what's wrong?" Answer... "Nothing!" (See #1)
4. "Fine"- not really. But the argument is over, and if you are wise, you will retreat to your man cave and tinker about, until the all clear has been given.
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When Jill, Sue, Martha and Dianne go out for lunch, they will call each other Jill, Sue, Martha and Dianne.
When Bob, Ted, John and Jim go out for lunch, they will affectionately call each other Bubba, Tedinski, Loo-Man and Jimbo.
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Men go to bed, and wake up looking the same.
Women go to bed, and somehow deteriorate through the night.
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Women know everything about their children; who their best friends are, who they have a crush on, when their next game is, what day and time their dentist appointment is, what food they love to eat.
Men are vaguely aware that some short people are living in their homes.
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Women have the memories of elephants, they never forget.
Men forget everything, that's why there's instant replay.
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Bob and Ted were enjoying a brewski at the local pub. While talking about getting along with their wives, Bob said, "I have to admit, our last fight was my fault. When she asked 'what's on the tv?', I replied 'Dust'."
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When women use restrooms, they can make these trips into 'social gatherings'.
Men use restrooms solely for biological reasons. Men never speak to each other while going about their business. There is not one recorded time in history when a man has excused himself from a restaurant table and said, " Hey Bill, I'm off to the men's room to reapply my cologne. Want to come with me?"!
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
And finally, some defintions in 'male and female speak'.

Vulnerable (Adj.)
   Female- emotionally opening up one's self to another
   Male- playing hockey without a cup

Butt (noun)
   Female- the body part that determines if an article of clothing will be purchased or not
   Male- the body part for mooning and flatuating

Entertainment (noun)
   Female- a good movie, concert, play or book
   Male- anything to do with football, poker, or the 3 Stooges

Taste (verb)
   Female- something frequently done while cooking, to make sure it's good
   Male- something done to check if food is bad, prior to tossing it out

Remote Control (noun)
   Female- a device for changing one TV channel to another
   Male- a virtual racing toy that's challenge is to surf through all 85 channels in 2 minutes
           - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
  
Yes, we are very different us guys and gals. But that's what makes life interesting. 
It would be soooo boring if we were all the same.
Isn't there a famous quote that says "opposites attract".
And we have to laugh at ourselves... I mean, how could we not? We provide "so much material", as a late night host would say!
Hope you've had a chuckle, or two, as you journeyed through the "Planetary Differences"


Keep on keeping on... bArB :)